Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize