Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
