i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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