Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
