i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she peed on how many people?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
