Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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