but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
