Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
