I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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