Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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