i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
