so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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