you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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