dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
