Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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