She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
