Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
