Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
