she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
