I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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