oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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