You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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