how do flat chested girls get laid?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The Olympian is in my bed
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
