mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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