i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
