The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It's like God shit irony all over that family
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize