I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
