Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
