She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
