Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
