I wannas sexs uuuuu
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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