She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
