I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so let's talk penis.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
