he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
