singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I am available for nakedness
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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