and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
