the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
