The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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