It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
