How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
