So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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