She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize