Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize