your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
