do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
