Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
