I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
