Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
