Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize