The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
