I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
