if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
false alarm, still single
Randomize