just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
