you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize