he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
