Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
