That's intense
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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